Last Thursday, while I was waiting for the schedule for confession and was sitting quietly before the Blessed Sacrament, I was thinking about my sins and I began to focus on one sin which I knew was a sin but didn’t wish to confess because I thought it was unfair. Hence, I said to God rather resentfully:
“The problem with being good to others is these people tend to abuse your goodness. They take advantage of you. They focus only on their needs. They think you have no needs and no feelings. They think it’s ok to be impolite to you because you’re not going to be too affected by it. They think it’s ok to be selfish towards you because you won’t complain. And the worst thing about being good to others is when you for moral reasons don’t give them what they want, they resent you and they accuse you of only pretending to be good towards them.”
Then God said to me, “Yes, that is exactly like how people treat Me.”
Immediately I thought, “What? It’s THAT difficult to be like You?”
God said, “Yes.”
I had no answer to that. If the Master did it, so must I. I have no excuses.
Oh dear! How difficult it is to be Catholic! But where else can I go? To the darkness where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth?
On the one hand sometimes I think it would have been better if I never knew all of this because life on earth wouldn’t be that difficult, but on the other hand I am glad of what I know because all this is not for nothing and there is a reward in the afterlife.