Life and Culture

Sometimes I Want To Wear Hijab

I blogged about how I dress like a Muslim and am sometimes mistaken for one except I don’t wear a head scarf. There was a time when I wore the shortest skirts I could find and the skimpiest tops, but once I got older I didn’t feel like baring my body anymore. It got old, I guess.

I don’t even wear make-up anymore except for a sheer tinted lip balm and sometimes a light dusting of face powder. I don’t wear fragrance and I don’t wear jewelry.

Yet sometimes I still feel uneasy when men stare at me. I’m not trying to hint that I am absolutely beautiful or anything like that. I mean, I have not been approached by model scouts and I don’t think anybody would seriously suggest that I join a beauty contest.

I suppose men simply like to look at women they are attracted to and in doing so inadvertently  objectify them through their desire.

How can I be sure that they are objectifying me? Maybe they are simply admiring me. I would probably also stare at a pretty dress or pair of shoes.

And what about if I stare at a cute guy? Am I objectifying him?

And if men still stare at me even if I am covered like a Muslim except for the head scarf, would covering my hair make a difference if they can still see my face? Should I add a face veil?

I wonder what would happen if I wear a head scarf then forget about it before attending mass. Then again the others will probably think I’m just trying out a new fashion.

The only thing that works for me is to lower my gaze or to look away. I can still feel the men’s stares, but at least they know I am not trying to encourage them.

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