On Love Problems: The Advantage of Being Contemplative

Most people are not contemplative and so do not really think about their life’s problems. This may be the reason why self-help books are popular for instead of thinking for themselves and coming up with their own answers, people seek out what others think. This will still involve a bit of thinking on their part, but it will just be a matter of making the new advice consistent with their beliefs.

While we still need to depend on other people’s opinions on some aspects of our lives which require specialized knowledge like health or finances, the aspect of our personal life is something we can think about and try to come up with insights on. Yet for many young people who deal with their life’s issues, particularly the failures of their romantic relationships, the answer to their problems is to complain to their friends or get drunk or party which never really solves anything.

And so many young people’s typical complaints include not knowing what they really want in a relationship, being confused if they really love the other or not, and wondering what love really is. I think they would be able to solve most of their problems if only they contemplated about themselves and their lives. Having a strong sense of who we are helps a lot in determining what we want in life, and while achieving this will take time and will vary for different people, at least we are not stuck in a confused state.

There is a combination of pity and disgust in me when I think of young people who party to forget their problems. Is it really the case that we are happy if we are in the scene of a party? Is the person we present in parties – that happy, laughing, party-like-there’s-no-tomorrow personality – really who we are? Are we still happy when we go home and live our lives the next day and the next?

Happy parties are the best venues to forget, because one is in the middle of what is happening and it’s easy to focus on the happy event. But if questions remain unanswered one remains confused about things and the partying becomes just a temporary escape.





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